Over the last few weeks my site has gotten hundreds of hits. WOW! I wasn't expecting that. I assumed my dear friends would be checking it out, as a supportive act of friendship, but never did I expect that kind of traffic. Immediately my heart began to race and self-critical statements began to surface. If you jumped inside my head you would have heard a plethora of negative thoughts scrolling a mile a minute. Statements such as:
The site isn't completed.
There are spelling and grammar errors.
What will they think?
I shouldn't have done this!
They'll think I'm a moron!
Blah, blah, blah ...
Had I continued this line of thinking anxiety would have crept in, my self-esteem would have tanked, and I would have created a depressive episode. BLECH! Instead, I began laughing and writing. I've chosen to share this story with you, because I bet you have been in a similar situation. So let's normalize this experience and decrease the negative self-talk and everything that goes with it.
What made me switch tracks from being negative to laughing? Honestly, my education and self-knowledge pushed through. I recognized I was placing myself in competition with the polished sites people are accustomed to seeing. And then it hit me ... that's NOT me! I am a work in progress. EVERYONE is a work in progress and my website is a reflection of that truth. It will never be perfect, but it will have meaning and there will be growth.
Once I was able to stop, breathe and think about what I was reacting to ... I was able to untangle myself from the negative self-talk and laugh at myself. That's why self-knowledge is so important. St. Teresa stated, "An hour spent developing self-knowledge is better than a day in prayer." She was a very wise woman.
I sense most of our problems in life stem from the attachment to an unattainable perfection. I can't quote the current statistic, but I know (in general) we spend a lot of time and money trying to be perfect or at least LOOK it. Unfortunately, most of the money and time is wasted on surface stuff: plastic surgery, diet products, pills of every kind ... do I need to go on? I wonder what would change if we spent our resources on developing the deep stuff (self-knowledge) needed to laugh at ourselves instead?
On Monday I will be posting a follow-up to this Blog entitled "Stop Sucking it Up!" My intention is to help explain why "sucking it up" is really BAD for our bodies. Until then, remember no one is perfect - We are all just works in progress. :)
The site isn't completed.
There are spelling and grammar errors.
What will they think?
I shouldn't have done this!
They'll think I'm a moron!
Blah, blah, blah ...
Had I continued this line of thinking anxiety would have crept in, my self-esteem would have tanked, and I would have created a depressive episode. BLECH! Instead, I began laughing and writing. I've chosen to share this story with you, because I bet you have been in a similar situation. So let's normalize this experience and decrease the negative self-talk and everything that goes with it.
What made me switch tracks from being negative to laughing? Honestly, my education and self-knowledge pushed through. I recognized I was placing myself in competition with the polished sites people are accustomed to seeing. And then it hit me ... that's NOT me! I am a work in progress. EVERYONE is a work in progress and my website is a reflection of that truth. It will never be perfect, but it will have meaning and there will be growth.
Once I was able to stop, breathe and think about what I was reacting to ... I was able to untangle myself from the negative self-talk and laugh at myself. That's why self-knowledge is so important. St. Teresa stated, "An hour spent developing self-knowledge is better than a day in prayer." She was a very wise woman.
I sense most of our problems in life stem from the attachment to an unattainable perfection. I can't quote the current statistic, but I know (in general) we spend a lot of time and money trying to be perfect or at least LOOK it. Unfortunately, most of the money and time is wasted on surface stuff: plastic surgery, diet products, pills of every kind ... do I need to go on? I wonder what would change if we spent our resources on developing the deep stuff (self-knowledge) needed to laugh at ourselves instead?
On Monday I will be posting a follow-up to this Blog entitled "Stop Sucking it Up!" My intention is to help explain why "sucking it up" is really BAD for our bodies. Until then, remember no one is perfect - We are all just works in progress. :)
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